Drasken Returns To Grammar School

"id have to adment that it Time i just lern to spell agine lol"

 Drasken, long time sufferer of. . .whatever the fuck it is, has decided to join his kids in grade school.  "I love my kids and I wanted to be with them more", he explains.  "I let them sleep with me, too."

 Drasken has already made progress in school, earning a gold star for capitalizing proper nouns and the beginning letter of sentences.  His wife was so proud that it was promptly hung on the fridge next to the macaroni doodles.

 "I'm really proud of him; his teachers have been tough, but he's top of the class in finger painting."

We here at The Regulators support Drasken in his venture and wish him the best of luck.

Conficker Worm Hits Adventurine

Analysts warned of the impending attacks from the Conficker worm today and it seems the latest company to be hit is none other than Grecian gaming developer Adventurine, better known for their MMO Darkfall.  Conficker has been said to potentially delete personal files, attempt to steal private information, or hi-jack the PC by linking to a master computer.

In an odd twist, the virus appears to have actually helped stabilize servers and fix many issues plaguing the premature MMO.  We managed to contact Tasos Flambouras who had this to say, "Well this sucks."  Players have rejoiced that Conficker was also noted to take control of the character in-game and level lesser magic for them.  "The AI in this game is so amazing, but now that my character plays by itself I can actually masturbate to it", said one player named Luzarius.

This is a developing story.